Theme of the Year / Jahresthema : BSC Scanner Round Table
May 2024 / Mai 2024
You Only Need One
To me it seemed like an easy enough task at the time: find a house and office to rent for me, my freelance husband, our two rambunctious kindergarten kids, a 42-kg Rottweiler, and a canary. We had just moved back to Germany from several years in Africa and were housing in two small rooms at my in-law’s place. My German was still rather rudimentary, there was no ubiquitous internet yet or agent to help with the search – so it was down to newspapers and networking.
This search turned out to be the first time in Germany that I used Barbara Sher’s methods: I stated my wish and my obstacle to anybody that would listen to this Canadian! At the Friday pub evening I asked the table how to find a house to rent after the papers did not produce any good possibilities. Instead of helping, the mentality at the time was unfortunately more like, Who the heck do you think will rent to you “new” residents (i.e. out of Africa without references) with two children and a Rottweiler?! A bit hurt but undaunted, one girlfriend finally pragmatically suggested to write our own advertisement in the local paper with exactly what we were looking for, and especially what we were willing to pay. I wrote it up with my husband and sent it off with high hopes.
Several weeks later at the pub, the same friend asked how things were going…I was starting to get back pains from sleeping on a mattress on the floor beside the dog while the kids shared the only bed available. It was also disappointing to report that I had not had even one answer to my ad, I was starting to feel desperate.
She turned to me and said, Don’t worry, you only need one. You just need the right one. It’s not too late, just be patient.
I was stunned. She was right. What had I been waiting for, a dozen replies? Five good possibilities to choose from? That was realistically not going to happen!
With her words singing in my ears, I went home to patiently wait.
Several days later I received a hand-written letter from a man with all sorts of apologies: sorry for writing so late, he almost didn’t write, maybe this was a crazy idea, it’s a bit early, we probably didn’t want to wait. But he DID write – and offered a half a barn that he was renovating on his parent’s old mill property. It was going to be lovely, it was going to be big, it was going to be…finished in hopefully 6 months.
That was my one reply!
We jumped at the invitation to visit and discuss this opportunity. There were windows and concrete floors and that was it so far. We all decided, though, that the location and more than generous space for living and working was appealing. The fact that he would take us and a Rottweiler – and rather appallingly large amounts for deposit and rent, but you do have to get your foot in the door somewhere – was a win-win for both sides. We ended up moving in on time and spending four happy years there.
**Naming your wish and obstacle is one of the strongest statements that you can ever make to a person or group, in person or online, in a long conversation or in passing (think of the classic elevator pitch). It is like a huge spark to many listeners, igniting ideas in their mind that they are eager to pass on to you.
Barbara: “You have a dream…Don’t remain alone with that situation. To get out of it, let someone else in on it.”
References:
Wish-Problem originally described in Chapter 3 of Teamworks!, Barbara Sher and Annie Gottlieb, Warner Books, 1989
Idea Party – Online and in Facebook, in English and/or German every quarter.